Some are very easy or no brainers for us:
- We will spake and discipline
- We will both work
- They are coming into our lives and we will take them with us.
- We won't be home bodies (although sometimes we will chose to stay home)
- We will make decisions together and pray about them
Some were/are not so easy
- When will we move the baby out of our room
- What type of this to get vs. that
- When do we need to do this or that
- etc.
One very hard decision for us or should I say me has been breastfeeding. With Savannah I chose to not breast feed due to many reasons but mostly because I was going back to work at 6 weeks and I work at a middle school. The thought of pumping with 12 and 13 year old around wasn't to great! With Bruce I went back and forth. I decided about half way through my pregnancy that I would try breastfeeding.
I know that there are many benefits to breastfeeding your child. But I also know that I have a very healthy and happy 2 year old that was never breast fed.
With all that being said I am going to express some things here because well in person I might either start crying or get mad. Please understand that I am doing what is best for Bruce, myself, and family.
When Bruce was born (I know it has only been 5 days) I breastfed. I have breast fed for the past 5 days. I have been absolutely miserable and in so much pain. I have talked to lactation consultants, Douala's, and friends about this. I have tried so hard and really worked at this thing. However, today I reached the breaking point. I have literally fed Bruce every 10-15 minutes for two days. He has barely slept, I have barely slept and it has not been good. After lots of thought and prayer I have decided that I am not going to breast fed.
I know most of you might say you have to give it more than a couple days...it takes work...it is hard...etc. I would agree with all of you. I am working hard to not think of myself as a failure and that I let Bruce and my family down. Financially it is so much easier to breast feed but it is killing me. I am crying, in pain, and not being able to be the mom I need to be to Bruce or Savannah.
Please respect my decision and understand that we are all different and in the end we have to do what is best for us and the baby. Bruce crying and screaming for two days while Mommy cries is not the way this should be.
6 comments:
I understand all the info about the benefits of breastfeeding pushed in this world, but as you said is the case with Savannah, I have Roland and he is both healthy and smart despite not being breast fed, dare I say more so than some breastfed kids.. Bruce will be fine, and so will you. You are making the right choice for you 4, and that is commendable.
You are an awesome mommy! Loving bruce and your family is the most important thing. Don't worry about the BF! Love you!!!!
What's most important for that sweet boy is that his mama is sane. :) Kudos to you for trying, now take a deep breath and snuggle with your perfect, beautiful bottle-fed boy.
I'm not a mom by any means, but I'm really proud of you, Claire! I think it is incredibly honorable of you to do what is best for YOUR family and YOUR situation. Even though I'm no mommy, I've seen friends go through people telling them what's right and wrong, etc, and I know it can be difficult. I really respect you and am proud of you for doing what is best for y'all, regardless of what anyone tells you. Way to go!
Also - the birth story was great! Can't wait to come visit y'all soon.
Hi Claire!
Don't beat yourself up over not breastfeeding. It's different for everyone and a very personal decision that is really no one's business. Whatever works for you and Bruce is fine. No need to offer explanations, rationalizations or apologies to anyone. Anyone who has the gall to ask questions, just give them "the look".
Love you!
Aunt Kelly
Oh, you sweet sweet mama!! You should never have to apologize for that decision . . . all of our bodies work differently! Some women were MADE to breastfeed and some were not (I'm one of the were nots!). I did it for as long as I could and that's all anyone could ask of me. Bruce knows you love, adore, and provide for him and that is not shown solely through the act of breastfeeding!! As you struggle through this please remember that you're exhausted, hormonal, and have just had one MAJOR life change in the form of this blessing to your family . . . You've got a lot on your plate and I'm proud of you for being such a wonderful mama! Anyone who says any different can call me and I'll set 'em straight!
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