Wedded Wednesday ~ the breakup

So I figured I would continue on last weeks Wedded Wednesday...I may do this for a while because I don't think I talk about Andy that much on the blog and in case you are wondering I LOVE THE MAN!! Again this is going to be long so if you don't care don't read :)

Have you ever felt like God had complete control over a particular situation? Like you were just sitting waiting because you were so at peace with his plan. Well, this rarely happens in my life...to be honest I think it has only happened 2x because I hate releasing and actually giving God control. If you know me you know that I like to be in control and although I say it and pray it I never really let go of the reigns.

With that all being said the start of 2004 was going well. I felt the call to missions and although I was so scared I was excited as well. After going through the process of Go Now Missions I was chosen to be one of 6 college age students to go to Germany on a Sports Mission Trip. I was so excited! God was in total control and everything seemed to be falling into place except my relationship with Andy. If you remember from the first post ~ I knew before we started dating that I was going to marry him. But we were fighting over stupid things and just getting annoyed with each other. Neither one of us wanted to end it but we knew something had to change.

Fast forward a couple months and I am ready to head to Germany for 3 weeks. I remember being excited to go but scared to leave. As if I was leaving something that wouldn't be there when I got back. At the airport I told my parents and Andy bye and gave them all hugs and kisses. The first week I was in Germany Andy and I talked on the phone a couple of times and emailed every day but then one day we both just kinda stopped. About a week into my trip I was prayer walking with my partner Jon and one of our interpreters when I stopped praying for Germany and started praying for me. I don't really remember much but I do remember Jon and the interpreter asking if I was okay because I was balling. (I think they thought I was so broken over Germany...to bad it was over me). That night I barely got any sleep and I emailed Andy to tell him when I got back I wanted to talk.

After 3 weeks in Germany my trip was over and I was returning to the States. I can't tell you how excited I was to see English, my parents, and Andy. I remember getting off the plane in Austin and rushing to the baggage claim. My parents were there but no Andy. What was going on? I had told God I would talk to him and that we would be okay. The problem was "I" had told God. Long Story short without lots of details two days later Andy told me that "God" wanted him to break up with me. Yes, people he pulled the God card. :)

I was devastated! Here I was coming back from a huge mission trip on a spiritual high and then I hit the bottom. A couple months later I moved into an apartment with Lacy and Tuck and we were all ready to get back to school and the BSM. Only problem was I hadn't seen Andy in over 2 months and I was so scared. People at the BSM picked sides and it was a little bit of a mess. God was not in control but I was trying to say he was.

In the middle of all of this my uncle was slowly dying and I was trying to come to grip with the loss of him but also of Andy. I remember one night at the BSM, Andy was moving back to Houston and leaving Tx State, I walked outside to get air and my cousin called. She was talking to me about her dad passing and I was just crying with her. Well, out walked Andy and as he walked to his car I just balled more. I thought there he goes...I am never going to see him again.
That night as I cried with Tuck and Lacy I was so mad at Andy at God but I kept telling them I would marry him. I know it is weird!

Well, a couple of weeks later my uncle passed away and his funeral was on what would have been Andy and I's 2 year anniversary. At the funeral God got ahold of me like no other. He let me have it...how self fish are you Claire! It's not about you! It's all for my glory! Have you no faith? Remember the promises I gave you? All these things I felt God saying to me.

All of the sudden I realized the problem wasn't Andy but it was me. I was so far from God and I needed to get back. God really worked on me over the next couple of months. At Christmas my Aunt asked me if I had heard from Andy...UMM No! But in the back of my mind I thought I want to. God continued to work on me and around new years I let go of the reigns and God took control. What a burden lifted!

I decided in January to run a half marathon with our BSM director for missions. We would ask people to donate a dollar for every mile we ran. On February 13th I completed the half marathon and it was only because of God that I got through it. We talked the entire 13.1 miles and I never looked back. I praised him for taking control and reminding me that it is all about Him! That night I emailed everyone in my inbox that I had done it. I was so excited to finish and to praise God that I totally forgot that Andy's email was on that list.

The next day was Valentines and as I sat at school checking my email there was Andy's name. What in the world!? I hadn't talked to him in 10 months and Valentines of all days I get an email. He told me he was proud of me for finishing the Marathon, that he thought of me often, and if I was ever in Houston to give him a call.
As crazy as it sounds I sat there and hit reply like it was no big deal. I think I wrote something along the lines as Tuck and I will be in Houston this weekend.

With in the hour I got another email from Andy that said if we had time he would love to meet for lunch or dinner. And to give him a call. I never told Tuck about this email so when we got in the car to head to Houston Thursday night she looked at me and said "We should call Andy." I was completely shocked...Okay God what did you want from this.

Friday morning we were getting ready for the D-Now when the pastor asked us to participate in a Labyrinth. Basically it is this maze looking thing. He told us that he wanted us to pray the entire way into the middle about what was going on with us. He basically wanted us to get right with God...once we got to the middle we were supposed to leave it all there and come back out of the maze praising God for everything. He told us to take as long as we needed. Well, I took almost 3 hours...Tuck told me later that after she was done she decided to sit in the corner and pray for me. She knew what was going on and as I got to the middle I was mad, crying, and almost yelling at God. I stayed in the middle for an hour waiting to let go. As I stood up from the middle to come back out I was so happy and praising God again for all he had done! I told Tuck I will call Andy tonight and see if we could meet Sunday.

That night I called Andy and prayed he wouldn't answer. Then when I heard his voice I froze...Claire? Are you there? I remember saying yes and seeing if he wanted to meet for lunch before we headed back to San Marcos. We all met at the 59 diner in Houston. Tuck and I got there first and when she went to hug Andy I just sat for a moment and then hugged him. During lunch we talked as if nothing had happened. Tuck decided that she had to use the bathroom (yeah right) and left us alone. Andy said that he was so glad we met him and that he would like to talk to me again soon. I agreed, hugged, and Tuck and I left for Houston.

In the car Tuck told me he was still in love with me and that she could have been dying and he wouldn't have noticed. She said he was so stuck on me. I wasn't so sure but I told her it was in God's hands and Andy's. Before we got home my phone rang and it was Andy...he was "making sure" we got home safe. I told him I would call him back later. That night we talked from about 9 pm - 2 am. We talked about everything and the next morning I was so excited and happy. Once again I told Tuck and Lacy that I was going to marry the boy but he had to work really hard. Tuck told me "Don't make him work too hard Claire...it was all part of God's plan."

The next weekend Andy drove to Austin and agreed to meet my parents one on one without me at Chili's. From what I hear it was a heating conversation but in the end my parents told him they forgave him but they would kill him if he ever hurt me again. Again total God thing!

Andy and I got back together on February 28th and were engage on November 17th. What a God thing. By the way the one and only thing that we said had to change with God had to be the center of our relationship.

Over the past 6 years it has taken work. We try daily to pray together and talk about what God is doing in our lives. God is in control and he knows the plans. It's the letting go of the reigns that is the hard part...but had we not let go I am not sure we would have this happy ending!